I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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