....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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