It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
