Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
