JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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