The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
