DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
