He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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