trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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