just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it's like iHOP with fire
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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