let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
