I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
