He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize