new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
