some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
