my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
