The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
