Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
