Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she told me i tasted like america
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
