he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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