I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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