I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
