so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Every concussion has its silver lining
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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