after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My vagina is very pro this idea
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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