i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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