Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
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