just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
