i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
