Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I use my feet as sexual weapons
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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