So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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