My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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