Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
