he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
