Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize