I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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