ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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