There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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