I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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