thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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