Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
