your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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