Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
