okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
