I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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