I just saw a hot homeless man
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
