it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
