Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
