Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
