I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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