I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
