no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
