i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
