whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
