my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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