i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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