OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i think i just lost a toe
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
