The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
