You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
