My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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