either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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