i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
